Part Three
Well the holiday is well and truly over now! I started my new job last week and I’ve only just finished another twelve-hour shift. God I’m exhausted! The hospital, Bennington Park (known locally as Benny’s) is considerably smaller than Holby City is, although it’s well equipped and well staffed.
Actually I wasn’t going to take this job, it’s a hefty demotion, but a man’s got to eat, and it seems unlikely that anything better will come along in the near future. It’s frustrating though, not being in charge, but I have two distinct problems. One, as I said, I literally can’t afford to be choosy right now, I’ve been here for nearly four months and I’m still living off my savings; and two, my qualifications. Some of the qualifications that I have aren’t formally recognised over here and if I want a position as a charge nurse, let alone as their equivalent to a clinical nurse manager I have to pass the exams and go for the interviews all over again. I do have nearly thirty years of nursing experience under my belt and I hate being made to feel like a student on trial.
And boy have I felt like that recently. I’ve had to try to remember everyone’s names, where all the various equipment’s kept and that there are certain practices and procedures that are common in England but not used here. And vice versa. All the time the rest of the staff, particularly my boss, a rather abrupt woman called Janet, have been peering at me suspiciously. As though they were just waiting for me to cock something up. Luckily I didn’t give them the satisfaction, but I know I would have performed better if I hadn’t had them all breathing down my neck. I mean, why did they give me the job if they didn’t think I could do it?
Already I’m dreading going back there tomorrow, and I’ve never dreaded going in to work before. In fact, if anything my work has always been the thing that’s kept me going whatever’s happening in my private life. I always knew that at least at work I always had my friends around me, but I can’t say that anyone has been overly friendly to me here. Apparently I got the job instead of an internal candidate, so naturally that’s entirely my fault.
The only person I’ve had a decent conversation with all day is the receptionist, Dave, a highly talkative and amenable bloke, who’s CV reads like the ‘position’s vacant’ section of the Holby Gazette. He must have done just about every job invented before landing this one. I asked why he never stayed at any of them and he said he got restless easily, never liked to stay in one place too long. He asked how long I’d been at my previous job and when I said about 15 years he nearly choked. He thinks I’m mad, but then I think he’s mad so I suppose we’re even.
I could really do with hearing one of Duffy’s pep talks right now, telling me I’m doing the right thing and it’ll all work out, but it’s two in the morning back in England, it wouldn’t be fair to call her just to moan. Maybe I’ll call when I have something more positive to report.
At least now that I’m working again I won’t have to put up with Baz’s pity. I know that’s how she feels, I can see it in her eyes. She got head hunted for her fabulous new job, where she is loved and admired by half of Ontario, and poor little Charlie couldn’t find anything. Hopefully she’ll start to see that I’m not quite the lost cause she paints me as. Her and her fantastic surgeon boyfriend who can do no wrong. I just hope that Louis hasn’t picked up on any of this. I would like him to grow up with some sense of pride about what I’ve achieved in my life. Baz seems to be able to put a downer on everything I do.
Of course the biggest downside to my finding a job is that it means spending much less time with Louis. And just when I’ve got used to picking him up from school everyday and looking after him until Baz gets back from her work. Working twelve-hour shifts, unsociable twelve-hour shifts at that, doesn’t leave time for all the things I want to do with Louis. Still, maybe once I’ve been here a while I might get a little bit more flexibility to my routine. For the time being I’ll just have to grit my teeth and get on with it.
Ten hours, forty-eight minutes to go until I’m back at Benny’s….
The piecing ring of the cooker timer interrupted Duffy and she jumped up to check on her meal. It was Sunday and she was preparing a full roast. She didn’t usually go to so much trouble, it just being her self and Andie in the house, but for the first time in several months both her boys were coming home at the same time, along with their respective families, so she was making a special effort.
Duffy loved it when the whole family was back together. She couldn’t say that it was just like the old days because it wasn’t; she knew that they each had lives of their own now but it was reassuring to have them all safely under one roof, where she could keep an eye on them. She was ever so proud of all her children and everything they’d each achieved but was sometimes startled by just how different from each over they were.
Her eldest, Peter, had followed in his father’s footsteps and entered the medical profession. He was currently enjoying being an SHO in the paediatric ward of St Mary’s Hospital, about fifty miles outside of Holby. As a young child Peter had been very serious. He always seemed to be far more grown up than his actual age and probably understood a lot more about what was going on around him than either of his parents gave him credit for. He had been only ten years old when Andrew had died and even though it was clear how much pain it caused him, he had seemed to have coped much better than Duffy had expected him to. In truth he simply did the majority of his grieving quietly and without fuss. Even at such a young age he recognised how hard his mother was taking his father’s death and consciously refrained from giving her any more reason to be upset.
Over the years he’d ended up having many heated arguments with his brother Jake on the subject. Jake accused Peter of being unfeeling and hardhearted because he was always so reserved about showing his emotions. It hurt Peter when Jake called him such names, he couldn’t help how he was and knew that he felt everything just as deeply, if not more so. He’d known their Dad longer and they’d had a close bond. Now that Peter was a father himself, he missed his own Dad even more acutely. He wanted to be able to share stories and get advice from him, and hoped that, if everything he’d been told as a child about him sitting in Heaven watching over his family was true, he’d be proud of him.
Jake was very nearly the complete opposite to Peter. He had always been very vocal about his feelings. It was always Jake who threw tantrums when he couldn’t get his own way; it was always Jake who picked the fights between the brothers. At six, the concept of death was still new to him and he hadn’t quite understood just why Daddy wasn’t coming back. He had shouted, and screamed, and cried. He had refused to go to bed until his father came up and read him a story. Duffy had found it difficult to cope with him and been so grateful that at least Peter had behaved himself.
As they’d all grown up Peter had fallen into the position of 'man of the house'. He always did his best to help out his mother and look after his siblings. He had deliberately stayed in Holby to train as a doctor even though his grades were good enough to go to any medical school of his choice. Leaving his family hadn’t been an option as far as he was concerned, and he diligently fitted his studies in with a part time job at the expense of the usual student revelries. Duffy had found herself increasingly relying on Peter to help look after Jake and especially Andie. Occasionally Duffy wondered if perhaps she’d accidentally robbed him of his childhood by expecting too much of him when he was young, but Peter never complained and seemed perfectly happy with his life. He still made good friends, met a lovely young woman, married her and was expecting his second child.
Jake too had intended on becoming a doctor, he had scraped enough A-level points to get into university and immediately left home to seek some independence. He soon found that being a doctor wasn't his thing, and after failing his first set of exams miserably he slunk back home for a couple of years until he found a more comfortable occupation. He was now a painter and decorator, living equally happily with his girlfriend on the other side of Holby.
Now only Andie was left at home, doing her A-levels in the hope of one day becoming a journalist. There was a time when Duffy had dreaded the thought of all her children growing up and moving away from her but seeing them all contented in their lives, and knowing that they would all visit regularly softened the blow. She was proud at how well they'd all turned out, and knew Andrew would be too.
It wasn't long before everyone started to arrive and the house became full of talking and laughing, the way Duffy thought that it was supposed to be. Eventually the meal was ready and all of them sat down to eat. It was by no means an easy task to get everyone to fit around the kitchen table but as the family were all perfectly at ease with each other the tight conditions weren't a problem. And Duffy was glad that she got to see them all so often. Just as Peter stood up to carve there was a knock at the door. Duffy excused herself and went to answer it.
"Hi Mrs Bower, sorry to interrupt but I wondered if we could talk some more about Dad. I’m afraid I’m at a bit of a loose end today. There’s not much for a tourist to do round here in a Sunday!" Louis grinned his amazing grin at her. Behind Duffy, Andie strolled up having recognised the Canadian twang of the visitor’s voice.
"Hi Louis, you coming in?" she asked.
"Well…I …."
"Oh come on, there’s plenty of food! I mean, if that’s all right by you Mum?" She looked pleadingly at Duffy. Duffy thought about it for a second, it didn’t seem like she could refuse now, she’d already invited him.
"Why not? The more the merrier, come in" Duffy watched Andie lead Louis into the kitchen.
"You can sit here next to me if you like…" she asked him shyly, clearing a space on the table and grabbing a chair for him.
"I’d love to" He answered and sat down. Peter eyed him suspiciously, wondering who he was. Surely he couldn’t be his little sister’s boyfriend, he was too old for her. She was only seventeen and this new guy must be five years older than that. Duffy was busy trying to find another plate and some cutlery so Peter took it upon himself to play the disapproving parent.
"Andie aren’t you going to introduce the rest of us to your friend?" She shrugged casually.
"OK. Peter, everyone, this is Louis Fairhead, he’s here on holiday from Canada to talk to Mum about his Dad who she used to work with. Louis this is my family," she paused and swept her arm around the room, "my oldest brother Peter, his wife Sarah, their daughter Lisa, and this is my other brother Jake and his girlfriend Cassie." The room erupted with a stream of ‘how do you do’s’.
Everyone seemed to be interested in what Canada was like and before long Louis was entertaining the whole table with stories about his homeland. Duffy listened as Louis recounted story after story. Although his accent was wrong there was still something in the way he spoke that reminded her of Charlie. And there was something oddly natural about seeing Charlie’s son sitting next to her own daughter, talking to Andie the way Charlie used to talk to her.
All the time Peter continued to view Louis with an air of caution, there was something about his chatty and somewhat flirtatious manner that unnerved him. Especially when he noticed how comfortable Louis seemed with Andie and the way he directed the majority of his conversation to her.
Peter tried to get his mother’s attention and signal his concern to her, but it was no use, she was as spellbound as the rest of them. As the meal finished the family retired to the living room. Peter offered to stay in the kitchen to tidy up.
"Mum, I don’t mind doing it! It will save you the bother later, and Jake will help, won’t you?" he elbowed his brother.
"I suppose so" He said reluctantly.
"Well if it makes you happy sweetheart" she shrugged and followed the other’s out. Alone in the kitchen Jake started on his brother.
"Why d’you have to rope me in, I don’t want to do the bloody washing up!"
"Then don’t," he sighed, "I just wanted your opinion on that Louis bloke, he seemed a bit friendly with Andie"
"So what, she’s seventeen, she’s entitled to get a boyfriend"
"But he was a bit… I don’t know…too charming, and what do we really now about him? I think maybe we should have a quiet word" he said meaningfully.
"Oh for God’s sake Peter, lighten up! If you scare off another of her boyfriends she’ll never forgive you. Besides when are you going to realise that you aren’t in charge of all our lives. Let Andie enjoy herself, just ‘cause you don’t know how to…"
In the living room there wasn’t really enough space for everyone. Andie perched on the arm of her mother’s arm chair and gave her a hug.
"That was a great meal Mum, and thanks for letting Louis stay."
"Yeah it was fantastic I’m really full now!" he added patting his stomach appreciatively.
"Walking sometimes helps…", Andie said, he looked at her blankly, "If you’re full it helps to walk some of it off" she finished.
"I see, would you like to accompany me on a stroll then Andie? It that’s OK with your mother?" Duffy could see the delight on Andie’s face, and after all what harm would it do?
"Fine by me" she said and Andie very nearly cried out in delight. She leapt up and grabbed her coat and within seconds they were out of the door.
It was a very peaceful Sunday afternoon and Andie and Louis wandered slowly down the street in the direction of the local park. It was all something of a dream come true for Andie, to have the undivided attention of such a good looking and charming older man. As she walked along beside him she privately wished that Laura and her other friends could see her.
"You gotta big family there, Andie!"
"Not that big really, when you think about it" There was a time when he had been very young that Louis had wanted a brother or sister of his own. His mother had told him that she was too old for that and bought him a hamster to play with instead. He soon realised that there were certain advantages to being an only child, he knew that he had many more toys and games than his friends and he wasn’t expected to share them with anyone either. Being his mother’s one and only pride and joy was a nice feeling, and she told him he was often enough. Fleetingly he wished that his father had taken the time to do the same.
They silently walked a little further, Andie trying to decide on a good topic of conversation, Louis thinking about his family. He’d never had a huge chaotic meal like the one he’d just shared with the Bower’s before. In fact he’d never even had a small chaotic meal before. His mother liked to keep the apartment tidy in case she had to entertain at short notice. Meals with his father were often strained, or rushed, or both. He always seemed to be rushing off to work, or would’ve only just got back and not had anything organised. Even when they did get a quiet hour together their conversation usually dried up rapidly. Some of his diary entries had been so in depth, some of them were so eloquent; it didn’t seem to fit with the withdrawn and inarticulate man he remembered.
They came to the duck pond and sat on a bench looking out over it, the afternoon sun turning the water to gold.
"Andie can I ask you something?" She nodded.
"Do you miss your Dad?"
"I never knew him so… not really. No. Peter has been more like a father to me. And him and Mum, and Jake sometimes too, tell me stories about what he was like, so if I ever want to know anything about him then all I have to do is ask. You miss yours?"
"I guess. More than I thought I would anyway. But you’re lucky, your Mom is much more open than mine is."
"Yeah, she’s not bad. For someone so old!" she chuckled irreverently.
"I hope you don’t mind me saying but you’ve gotta great laugh." He said matter-of-factly. Without thinking he put his hand over hers, sandwiching it with the wooden bench. Andie looked away shyly.
"Thanks" she said quietly, feeling her heart beating that little bit faster at his touch.
"I mean it. The moment I saw you I thought, there’s a beautiful girl, I’ll bet she’s got a great laugh." He said playfully. She laughed again not quite daring to look him in the eyes.
"I’ve come a long way, I’m glad that I’ve ended up spending time with such lovely people." Andie could feel herself start to blush. He thought she was a lovely person!
Slowly she turned round to look at him. The moment seemed to be building perfectly. He was so gorgeous and he was there, right next to her. She looked deep into his amazingly blue eyes and leaned in closer to him, trying to build up the courage to take the next obvious step. Just as she was about to kiss him, Andie heard her name being called. She saw Peter striding towards them holding his toddler Lisa in his arms.
"Mum said you’d come out for some fresh air so I thought Lisa and I would join you. I’m not interrupting am I?" Andie glowered at him. He knew damn well he was interrupting.
"No, actually I had better be going now. Peter, tell your Mom that I’ll be in touch soon," Louis jumped up, looked at Andie and smiled nervously, "And thank her again for the kind invitation. I enjoyed myself."
He nodded goodbye to Andie and she felt herself start to blush again, then he shook Peter’s hand and ruffled Lisa’s hair before vanishing off through the park.
Louis strolled casually through the reception of the hotel and into the bar, scanning the room absently for somewhere suitable to sit. It was all but empty. The only other customer was a woman in her early twenties. She was dressed in a smart suit, but her hair fell over her shoulders as if she’d finally let it down after a long day. Louis hovered just inside the doorway, trying to decide whether to go in. He watched and saw the woman finish her drink. A young barman of Mediterranean extraction made his way over to woman to take her next order.
Louis watched the proceedings admiringly. He scrutinised every gesture of the attractive person in front of him and decided to try his chances at chatting them up.
He nodded a polite hello to the woman as he came closer, and she duly reciprocated.
"Can I get a scotch?" he asked the barman, and flashed him one of his fantastic smiles.