I Can Only See Your Face
The drive to St Thomas's seemed to take forever and all the way Holly fought a battle with herself, over whether or not she should continue or turn back. Every rational fibre in her body told her to go home, to leave the questioning to the police and stay well away from Tom, yet still something compelled her to carry on.
She parked in the visitor's car park and made her way toward the main building. It looked like every other hospital she'd ever known and she'd long since got over any fear of hospitals, but knowing that Tom was in there somewhere made her uneasy. She hovered indecisive at the entrance.
"This is such a stupid idea" she muttered under her breath, but she took a step forward anyway. She had to understand how Tom could turn on her like that; she had to prove to herself that she had the power now. She advanced slowly toward the reception desk. Behind it sat a harassed looking middle aged woman.
"Um, excuse me?" Holly lent on the desk and gave an awkward smile.
"How can I help you?" the woman replied curtly.
"I'm looking for a patient, Tom Harvey, he's been admitted here"
"Are you family?" Holly thought about it, if she told the receptionist that she was the one who put Tom in hospital then there would be no way she'd get to see him, maybe a little white lie wouldn't hurt…
"Yes, I'm his…sister" the receptionist didn't seem to pick up on the pause and started tapping away on her computer keyboard.
"Tom Harvey…Ah yes here we are, Mr Thomas Harvey admitted to Dawson Ward." she looked up at Holly who tried to look pleased whilst secretly praying that the receptionist didn't notice how fast her heart was beating.
"If you take that lift up to the fifth floor and follow the signs you should find it easily" she pointed off to one side and gave a perfunctory smile then went back to her computer screen. Holly reached the lift just as it arrived and stepped straight inside. There were a couple of other people in there with her but she barely noticed them. Her mind had gone blank; her body was running on pure adrenaline.
The doors opened onto the fifth floor and a long corridor stretched out before her. Holly started slowly along it. With every step she took, the corridor appeared to grow a step longer as though the hospital itself was trying to convince her to give up on her quest. Holly strode resolutely onward trying to work out what she was going to say to Tom once she'd found him. Only one word echoed through her mind: Why?
It felt like an eternity before she reached the turning to Dawson Ward. Around a central admin. area bustled various members of staff going about their daily business, no one noticed Holly arrive. She strode purposefully to the patient detail board and scanned it for Tom's name, all the time expecting someone to query who she was, and what she was doing. No one did. It scared Holly that it was so easy for a member of the public to get access to patients. There was a clear lack of security. No wonder nobody ever suspected Tom, at least he was meant to be in A&E.
Tom was being held in a side room. He had a severely bruised jaw from where Holly had hit him with the ornament; and as he had a head injury he was being kept in for observation. Her intention hadn't been to hurt him, only to fight him off, but she felt little sympathy for his condition knowing what he could have done to her. She didn't have to worry about finding the right room, from her position she could see which room was his. The one guarded by a stout Policeman.
There was no way Holly was going to get past him and part of her breathed a sigh of relief. She stood for a second collecting her thoughts. Tom was in custody, guarded in hospital. He couldn't get at her and he wouldn't be able to ever again. She'd talked it over with the police; Tom was going to be charged with harassment and sent to prison and if he ever got out he would be under a restraining order. She was safe and had to start putting her ordeal behind her.
Forget him, go home, and get on with your life. She tried to tell herself, but at the same time she knew that she couldn't just get on with her life without confronting him, without showing herself that she wasn't under his power, she wasn't a victim. It looked like fate had decided matters for her though.
Suddenly she heard a buzzer go off somewhere on the ward; people were shouting and calling for help. The Policeman looked over to see what all the fuss was about and for a moment Holly felt he was staring right at her, then deciding that his prisoner wasn't going anywhere he moved to help the other staff.
Holly sprung forward without thinking and made her way to Tom's room. Through the small window panel in the door, she could see him sleeping in the bed. Glancing around her to make sure she wasn't being seen she twisted the handle and stepped inside.
Inside the room, the rest of the hospital felt a million miles away. She could barely hear the commotion outside, and that wasn't what she was concentrating on anyway. Asleep in front of her lay her tormentor, looking so peaceful that it was difficult to believe that he was the same person who had attacked her.
Holly stood over him, watching him. His jaw was badly bruised and was swollen grotesquely; yet in is sleeping state he still managed to look peaceful. Too peaceful, Holly thought. Like one of the photographs he'd shown her. The photographs of people who appeared almost dead. Her stomach turned as she thought of the pictures he'd taken of her whilst she was asleep. The feeling built up inside her making it difficult to breathe. How could he lie there so calmly, after everything that he'd done?
She turned back towards the door; there was nothing more that she needed to do there. It was just bringing up more of the memories she wanted to forget. She'd seen that he was incapacitated in hospital, guarded, kept away from her and she was reassured by that. She looked over her shoulder at Tom one last time.
"You don't frighten me, not any more" she said decisively.
Holly opened the door and stepped out making a conscious effort to look inconspicuous. She moved swiftly back through the ward and out of the hospital, leaving the side room door to fall closed behind her.
As the door clicked back into it's frame Tom opened his eyes. He struggled as he sat up in the bed, his painkillers making him slightly dizzy.
I never meant to frighten you, Holly, I'm glad I don't frighten you anymore. He thought to himself.
I love you.
He slid out of bed, his bare feet slapping against the cold floor as he walked to the door, and opened it a few inches. The guard was still absent from his post and the corridor was all but empty. Returning to his bedside he removed his clothes from the cabinet and slipped them on; then silently left the room. He made it to the stair well without being stopped. Light streamed through the large glass panels that separated the steps from the outside world, making Tom wince as he looked out. Below, in the car park he could just see Holly's familiar figure getting into her car. He pressed himself up against the glass. It pushed back against his bruised jaw, but he didn't care, he was too busy staring at Holly.
"We'll be together soon Holly, I promise" he whispered through the glass.
Tom longingly watched her drive out of the hospital grounds and out of sight, before continuing on his own way out of the hospital.
Holly allowed herself to smile for the first time in a long time as she drove home. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her. Mentally she patted herself on the back; going to the hospital had been a good idea after all. Although she was glad that Tom hadn't been awake, seeing him there, just a pathetic little man in a hospital bed proved to her that it really was all over. She could finally get on with her life, and that felt good.
Go to Part Three